When I was a student at Texas A&M, I took pride in my schedule. I would go to class, my on-campus job, late night organization meetings, and then head back to my dorm for homework. I’d get a few hours of sleep and then do it all over again the next day. I was so proud of my busyness.
From College Station to South Texas, I believed that being busy meant that I was valuable. Hurry, hurry, hurry. Garage door up. Garage door down. Eat the snack, get changed, on to the next thing.
There are seasons in life when we are busier than at other times like when you bring home a baby, go back to school, change jobs, etc., but busyness can become a lifestyle. And it’s this lifestyle that we’re talking about here.
I believe that we get busy for four reasons.
- We’re trying to keep up with the Joneses. We believe that if we have a talent, we should use it, or if someone else has opted in, we should too. Almost involuntarily, we start comparing to ensure we’re not missing out.
- We cannot be still. As Adam S. McHugh says in The Listening Life, “The outer noise seems more comfortable than the inner chaos.” Because my heart is hurting, the silence is even more painful.
- We feel an ache in our lives. Busyness can be the drug of choice for many Achievers. We’re hurting, so we hope that busyness will be our soul-Advil. It’s easier to be busy than to recognize how sad, lonely or exhausted we feel. We avoid our emotions by scheduling them out of our day.
- We believe that our value comes from our busyness. In college, I believed that the more organizations I was in, the more I was wanted, and the more I was wanted, the more valuable I was. Busyness was directly linked to self-worth and value. Being busy became a status symbol.
Busyness is not the problem, friends, it’s a symptom of a hurting heart.
A busy schedule and a hurried pace are just superficial manifestations of a deeply buried hurt.
When I’m in physical pain, I don’t want to be touched and I do want to be left alone. This principle of wanting to be left alone, to be disconnected also happens when my heart is hurt. I make disconnection possible when I leave no margin in my calendar for divine appointments or unexpected emergencies. By not making myself available to help you because your need doesn’t match my “free time,” I avoid connection. If I can just stay safe behind my busy calendar, maybe the pain will go away or, at least, I’ll forget it’s lurking about.
But what does God say to us when our hearts are hurting?
In his “A Still Small Voice” sermon on 1 Kings 19, Timothy Keller talks about how God responded when Elijah’s heart was hurting after a queen’s death threat. God’s response met the needs of all the dimensions He created in us.
First, God met the relational need of Elijah through an angel’s touch. Is your heart hurting because you’re lacking true connection? Does the lack of physical touch, through a hug, back pat, or arm touch, weigh heavy on you? We need contact and connection with people because God designed us with senses that need to be filled and a desire to be in community with others. It’s just how we are wired.
Simultaneously, God met the physical need of Elijah when the angel cooks for him. In the midst of his hurt, Elijah gets to enjoy warm bread. God gave each of us temple-bodies (1 Corinthians 6:19)—how is yours doing? Have you neglected eating well, taking a stroll, or sitting to watch a sunset because other matters seem more pressing? We have a desire not only to be productive and efficient but also to be fed, to see beautiful things, and to taste His exorbitant goodness in things like the ingredients He provides for us to enjoy.
Finally, God met the spiritual need of Elijah by speaking with him. Have you been able to spend time hearing God’s message of grace for you lately? Have you felt reassured by His love and instructed by His word? Keller says so beautifully, “Only the thought of what Jesus did and took for you will melt your heart into friendship with Him.” Elijah hears the voice of His Creator, and today, you need to hear His words of grace too.
Achiever-friend, don’t neglect the totality of who you are as you seek God’s restoration for your hurting heart. You aren’t one-dimensional, so healing may come on many fronts. And don’t beat yourself up when you don’t feel immediate healing. Your hurt didn’t spring up over night, and your healing may not happen quickly either.
What I didn’t understand in the 1990s was that I am more than my schedule. And so are you. You are also more than your hurting heart. You are more than a busy schedule that you feel trapped inside. Achiever-friend, bring your schedule and hidden hurts to God. My heart hurts and I bet yours does too at times. Let’s Go Rogue from our busyness and let’s turn to the arms of the One who can heal our hurts.