A dear friend asked me recently, “What does one do when she realizes that she’s a Martha who really needs to be more of a Mary BUT the world she’s carefully shaped and molded around her, full of high standards and expectations of achievement, requires her to be a Martha?” Her question acknowledged that, while her life is filled with excellence, expectations, and dependability, her soul is longing for a more worshipful, grace-filled way of living.
How does this quintessential go-to gal let go of her self-created, busy life and move toward the way of Jesus? She knows her busy schedule and her worshipful heart aren’t on the same page, creating a dissonance within.
This dissonance is a gift.
This inconsistency between her current life and the life she hopes for is a gift. Her heavy, ill-fitting life is a cue that she’s taken on too much, and she’s holding things that she’s not designed to carry. Jesus pricked her heart and caused her to realize that what she’s counted as first things (accolades, degrees, recognition, family, possessions) are actually secondary to her relationship with Him: the intimacy of being fully known and fully loved.
Jesus knows what my friend’s soul needs, and He knows what our soul needs too.
He invites us, “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me — watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” (Matthew 11:28–30- MSG)
The invitation is sweet, but how does this look in the real world? How is this possible without quitting our jobs and opting out of all the things? Here are actions to get you started.
When the incongruity of life becomes clear, we should go to and get away with Jesus.
We need to recover our lives. Just like my friend who asked me the question about Mary and Martha, we know when our lives are covered up in busyness and to-do’s and when they’re in desperate need of being uncovered and recovered. We know we need Him to peel the layers back.
We need real rest. We need the rest that comes from internalizing that Jesus is the One in whom, for whom, and by whom all things hold together. We need to allow ourselves to sink into the fact that He’s omnipotent and sovereign, and we’re not.
Recovering our lives and finding real rest begins with prayer, our modern-day version of “coming to Him.” We need to start a conversation with Him about the tension we’re experiencing and to listen to what He thinks about it. If prayer doesn’t come naturally to you or you don’t know where to begin, click here to get started: Practical ways to slow down a hectic life
I would strongly encourage you to set aside a solid chunk of time to talk with Him. It could be a Saturday in a study room at the library, a weekend retreat, or thirty minutes every morning for five mornings in a row. This is your foundational time to talk with Him about all the dissonance—don’t miss it.
Walk with, work with, and watch Jesus.
We’re invited to do these things for the express purpose of learning the unforced rhythms of grace.
Jesus invites us to walk with Him. “Walking is something that’s nondramatic and rhythmic—it consists of steady, repeated actions you can keep up in a sustained way for a long time,” writes Timothy Keller in Walking with God through Pain and Suffering. We walk with God when we pray and read His word daily. This is our foundational time.
Jesus invites us to work with Him. We’re invited to do the work Jesus did: love God and love people. Remember you don’t have to do all the things, only the work He’s given you to do. We work with God when we steward our families, our jobs, and our volunteer commitments. And when we feel like we’ve taken on too much, we should ask Him to reveal the difference between what He’s asked us to do and what we’ve invited ourselves to do.
Jesus invites us to watch Him. When I “watch” Jesus, I notice that He didn’t keep all the people happy all the time. He didn’t heal everyone, stay in every town, and do everything he was asked. As we move away from the achievement-oriented, action-packed, always-reliable life, we’re going to ruffle feathers. People won’t be happy when we say “no,” but when we watch Jesus, we remember that He wasn’t interested in performing so others would love Him. His goal was simply to please His Dad. We watch God when we follow Him and trust that we’re fully loved and approved of. We should ask God to help us be okay with others not being okay.
Keep company with Jesus.
He wants us to hang out with Him because He wants us to live freely and lightly. Our self-created, merry-go-round lives are heavy and ill-fitting, but with Jesus, we can be free of failure and shame, worry, and unforgiveness. When we walk with Him and stay on the path that He’s marked for us, we’re keeping company with Jesus
When our busy schedule and our worshipful heart aren’t on the same page, we embrace the unforced rhythms of grace: come – walk with Him – repeat, come – walk with Him – repeat. This is the life that doesn’t create dissonance, but harmony as we walk in lock-step with our Savior who loves us so.
Thank you for this post. I just told my mom the other day everything is so rushed. When we went through it together I realized many of the pressure is self-inflicted. Our peace isonly in Jesus.
Thanks fornthis reminder and good advise.
Thank you Rolene! It’s so so so easy to feel rushed and so much harder to remember that our peace is in the Person of Jesus. – jill
Oh, man… I think you wrote this just for me! One thing I enjoy about being an Army Wife is that every time we move I get a clean slate. I don’t have to cut ties with responsibilities awkwardly or hurt people’s feelings. I get to decide what worked and what didn’t at the previous duty station and apply those lessons before I say yes to anything in our new location. Such a blessing! You’d think that after 20 years, I’d get better at saying no, but after only 3 years here I’ve found myself swamped again, gasping for air to make it through these last three months. Whew!!! Lord, help me to establish my routine in our next place according to your restful rhythms. Blessings!
Yes Liz yes! A prayerful no is so much better on the soul than a people-pleasing yes. Keep doing what you’re doing: following Jesus, evaluating what works, and taking one step at a time. – jill
This post is so helpful and encouraging! God has recently showed me how pressured I’ve been feeling to meet everyone’s expectations as a busy mom. He reminded me to simply rest in Him, and I have been finding true freedom there. I loved your advice about seeking Him on what He has asked us to do versus what we’ve invited ourselves to do!
Marisa, I am so so glad that you took Jesus up on His invitation to simply rest in Him. What a great place to be! Keep resting and trusting. He loves you like crazy! – jill
This is so encouraging. Rest- that is key! I love how you say real rest, because real rest is definitely found only in Jesus.
Yes Keri! Preach! -jill
Just lately I have found that I serve with much more energy and find ot less draining when I serve from an overflow.y business is more effective when I am responding to who Hod is or what He has done for me than when I am merely “fulfilling commitments”. That overflow only comes when I am consistent in meeting with Him and digging deep into His Word. It is a constant resetting and coming back as you say.
Amen! So much better to serve from our love than from our obligation. – jill