My worst boss had one trait that I thought wasn’t a big deal until it was. I wonder if you have this trait too.
This boss didn’t seem to listen to what I was saying, was preoccupied with other responsibilities, and couldn’t care less about what my heart was feeling. My boss just wanted the work done. This left me feeling like a flower wilting on the vine.
The troubling truth is that I am my worst boss. You are the boss of you. How are you at it? You may be a bad boss if you’ve ever told yourself that feelings don’t matter, or that you weren’t good enough, or that your dreams should be put on hold. I have told myself these things. I have also believed that it didn’t matter if I was tired, hurting, or hungry, I just needed to keep up.
In Adam S. McHugh’s book The Listening Life, he said, “Ten thousand true and beautiful words cannot convey love like unhurried listening.” This is why listening is so important to God. He shows His love for us by always being available with listening ears. He is never too busy, too hurried, or too preoccupied to listen to our words.
The God of the Universe listens to you. So Achiever, how are you at listening to yourself?
As an Achiever, I didn’t want to listen to what my body, emotions, and tired-out soul were trying to tell me. I wanted to march on at all costs despite the fact that my stomach always hurt, that my brain felt scrambled, and that I had no energy or passion. Oh, and I always got sick on vacation when I allowed myself to rest. Mr. McHugh sums up perfectly why we don’t listen to ourselves:
We may subconsciously choose to be immersed in outer noise because it is more comfortable than facing the internal chaos.
Preach… and ouch.
So how can you be a better boss of yourself? Listen to what your life, your dreams, your body, your emotions, your passions, and your health are telling you. Your soul knows stuff that your brain doesn’t so listen. Your heart, your mind, your will, and your strength are all interconnected to lead you, shape you, and care for you. What are they saying? And are you listening?
The bottom line is that listening to our own needs is hard because we believe that we don’t have the time, but Achiever, how do you not have time?
We have two choices: we can listen to our life now, or we can ignore it and allow the things we’re ignoring to damage us and reveal themselves over time. And no, ignoring our needs while remaining perfectly happy, healthy and high-functioning Achievers is not an option.
Schedule time this week to sit in that stark, fragile, and honest quietness of you and ask the following questions:
* What is your body telling you?
* What is your current emotional state?
* What are those guiding stories that you carry around that play in your head?
* What questions get you up in the morning and keep you up at night?
* What is the general pace of your life? Can your soul keep up?
Mr. McHugh says that the key to listening to your life is to take what you hear and stop the impulse to judge or condemn what you’re hearing. In fact, it’s wise to treat those bullying voices in your head with gentleness.
As an Achiever, your inner chaos can be loud and deafening so give your soul a break and be still so you can listen.
You don’t have to ignore your needs like the worst boss ever. Can we agree that you’d prefer to lead yourself with support and kindness? Then let’s start today. Be the one who takes your feelings into account without pushing them aside. Be the one who says you are good enough and righteous in God’s eyes. Allow yourself to be tired without beating yourself up, hurting without scolding yourself to get it together, and hungry without counting the calories. Listen to your life.