Eights, your superpower is sensing injustice: whether something is fair or unfair to you, or whatever is happening in the world is just or unjust. You embody the phrase, “Go big or go home!” You are the most controlling and intense of all types.
Your one powerful underlying motivation is a desire to protect yourself, to be in control, and hide any weakness that others may use against you.
When you are healthy and whole, you reflect God’s justice.
You can also grab this free resource about what the Enneagram is, what it isn’t, and what you want to know about your personality type. Your Quick Start Guide to the Enneagram walks you through how to determine your type, what’s up with wings, and Enneagram resources you’ll want to check out.
Please know that I’m not an Enneagram expert, merely a lover of it. What I present to you is based on my own research, feedback from men and women of each type, and peer review. If you learn better through audio, take a listen to this Grace In Real Life podcast episode with Enneagram Eight Celia Miller.
All Things Eight
Here’s the basic foundation you need to understand about yourself or about the Eights in your life. In this post, we cover what arouses anger in a Eight, books for spiritual growth, what causes you stress at Christmas, your biggest fear, gift ideas, goal-setting, parenting, and what the pandemic of 2020 has been like for you.
What Eights believe
You believe your perception of facts and interpretations are the only true facts, and that you can change the way things are simply by exerting control.
Where Eights struggle
Eights, you struggle with observing limits, boundaries, and details. You don’t consider what others want you to do. You cannot stand being bored. You act more than you think or feel. You believe you are right about everything, so you struggle to admit you, your perspective or worldview are wrong — or at least that there are other ways to look at the world.
What makes you angry
Your anger stems from feeling that you or others have been unjustly treated. As much as Eights seem powerful, how people make you feel is of utmost importance, and you do not want to feel bullied, betrayed, or taken advantage of. When plans and situations do not go your way, you feel stuck, betrayed, helpless, and out of control.
What’s behind your anger
Because Type Eights are in the Body Center, you are concerned with having and maintaining control and power. While other types may react to situations because of fear or shame, your type often feels anger.
Your type reflects God’s protection and power so it makes you angry when you or others are treated unfairly and unjustly.
How you express your anger
Just like Type Sevens, Type Eights are quick to express (vs. suppress) their anger. You prefer to confront situations head-on. Sometimes your anger may manifest itself as irritability, verbally lashing out, and detachment; it is typically intense.
How to process your anger in a God-centered way
1. Pray that in your anger, which is oftentimes a righteous anger, you would not sin. Pray that God would use the words of your heart to bring peace and resolution not further conflict. Pray for God to show you whether your actions are self-righteous or holy.
2. Your type is especially sensitive to injustice and disrespectful behavior. Consent to being still so that you can feel God’s power and protection in your life. God will fight on your behalf and for others. Remember that you alone are not responsible for righting every injustice.
3. Instead of detaching from your feelings, find safe people to express your needs, frustrations and wants.
Want to read more truth by someone who’s also a Type 8? Check out the sites of these fellow Type Eights and reviewers of this portion: Kaysie Steele and Samantha Martin.
“Most of my life was spent believing I was ”too much“ because girls weren’t meant to be passionate. That belief was shattered when Restless by Jennie Allen taught me that every facet of my story, including my passion, was a gift that could serve people. The intense way we as Enneagram 8s approach life creates a natural restlessness that Jennie flawlessly connects to a deeper purpose to serve people.” – Deborah West
Your goal for Christmas is for justice to be served at every gathering.
How you came to that goal: As a Type Eight, you are hyper-aware of injustice and are vigilant to protect others against it. When families get together, your radar is up and searching for any slight or offense that may need rectifying.
What happens when you work to reach your goal: Because you view yourself as the protector of others, you may be more likely to pick a fight during the holidays as old family patterns, history, and tendencies come back into play. You may even find yourself fighting battles that haven’t even happened yet. You’re likely to feel internal tension and to be more sensitive at this time of year causing you to not sleep well, eat poorly, and stop exercising. You may even find yourself more uncompromising and obstinate than usual.
Three ways to have a healthy Christmas:
1. Ask God to give you a generous and wise heart that sees people as He sees them instead of viewing others as potential attackers.
2. Remember to not assume motivations for others. You may go into Christmas ready for battle because you’re anticipating what people might say or do that seems unjust. Remember that your ultimate defender is Jesus Himself who knows your heart and the hearts of others.
3. Take care of yourself. You’re pretty amazing so don’t neglect yourself.
BONUS: Check out the book Restless by Jennie Allen.
Want to read more truth by someone who’s also a Type Eight? Check out the site of this fellow Type Eight and reviewer of this portion: Julie Walton and Angela Herrington.
What Type Eights Fear: Your underlying fear is being hurt or controlled. From this root, spring fears of betrayal, rejection, vulnerability, clingy people, sharing your needs, and connecting with others. Deep down, you simply want the relational confidence that you can trust and be trusted.
Why You Fear: Type Eights often believe the lie that you are what you do. Somewhere along the way, you picked up the message that the world is a tough place where only the strong survive. You decided to be one of those survivors so you fear anything that prevents you from being in charge.
How Your Fear Manifests Itself: Because of your fear, you push your body to exhaustion. You also want to be in charge. You can come across as aggressive, assertive, rude, and intense. Type 8s may also create drama and thus lose their emotional connections with others.
How to Help Work Through the Fear:
1. Remember that God provides for every need and every person, this includes you.
2. Practice stillness. Being still allows you the opportunity to identify less with what you do and more of who you are in Christ. It gives you to be vulnerable with God about your struggles and weaknesses.
3. Help others even when you fear rejection, being used, or connecting with others on a deeper level. As Carrie Kintz says, “Wisely pushing ourselves in this area goes a long way toward helping us learn to trust, not only between us and the Lord but with others as well.”
**Would you like a free printable of these three spiritual practices? Just go here.**
Want to read more truth by someone who’s also a Type Eight? Check out the sites of these fellow Type Eights and reviewers of this portion: Carrie Kintz and Jessica Herberger.
Gift Philosophy: You love giving more than receiving.
Type Eights love giving gifts but have a hard time receiving them.
As a gift-giver, finding that one great gift that shows the other person how much you respect them is a joy. In fact, you much prefer giving gifts to getting them.
As a gift-receiver, you prefer that people give you a purposeful gift you’ve requested because you’ve done your research and are particular about what you get. When you open a present, you may worry that you’re not showing the “right” amount of gratitude. Also, as an Eight, you don’t care so much about the novelty of gift-giving or material goods, so receiving gifts feels awkward.
Gift ideas for every Enneagram Type Eight: “Something from the heart.”
More than any other type, Eights want “something from the heart.” You want to know that you are fully known, seen, and appreciated for who you are and the hobbies you enjoy. You enjoy quality time with people you love. Material gifts are far less important to you than time together.
Eight-approved gift ideas include:
- A text message saying you love, respect, and care for him.
- Quality time with you, e.g. concert tickets, a day trip to a winery, fun date night.
- Money, money, money so she can get what she needs.
No-No’s for those buying an Eight a gift:
- Please don’t surprise an Eight. They’ve researched and know exactly what they want.
- Jewelry, unless you know her style.
- Flowers
- Clothes because he has his own sense of style and may never wear what you picked.
Reviewed by Cynthia Fisher and Samantha Martin.
How do you view goals? Challengers like goals because they provide a clear vision. Unlike Reformers, you focus more on the end result and desired outcome than the details, and your outcome tends to focus on justice and fairness.
Do you set goals? You do, but you hate goals that are overly-detailed and restrict your freedom. You make decisions quickly and from your gut. Challengers are quick to adjust goals to help better accomplish the desired outcome.
How do you accomplish your goals? Quickly and with 100% effort because you’re not one to do things half way. You tend to go it alone in goal accomplishment because it’s hard for you to trust people.
How do goals make you feel? Feel? What do goals have to do with feelings? You get stuff done. End of story.
Healthy habits for the Challenger
1. Because you act from your gut and go full-speed ahead, slow down, and ask God what His plans and desires are for you as you set your goals.
2. Ask yourself if your goals are your way of controlling your environment or if they’re based on something deeper and more in alignment with Christ’s plans for you.
3. Ask God how you can use your gifts and tender heart, the one you hide, to impact the world for His kingdom.
4. Ask if your goals are simply about challenging the status quo or are goals you care deeply about.
5. Remember that Jesus is your protector and your strength so you don’t have to be.
Extra resources for the Challenger:
There is nothing Eights like less than being told what to do and that’s exactly what’s happening in this pandemic. Your movement of where to go is restricted and your options of what to buy at Target are limited.
To cope, you may feel like you can make up your own rules because you don’t agree with the rules in place or deny the news you don’t like. If the experts say to limit your movement, you’re going to the grocery store once a day!
You also are focused on controlling what you can, like your schedule and routines.
This is also a tremendous time for growth as God slowly and gently teaches you about His sovereignty and matchless power. This is the perfect time to really learn, way down deep into your bones, that He holds the whole world together and you don’t have to.
Graciously reviewed by Celia Manns.
Eights are all about strength, determination, power, and protecting others. You’re a force to be reckoned with. Friend, you walk into a room and ooze intense confidence. Eights often assume protective roles and push their bodies to the point of exhaustion to bring justice and care for others. While some may call your communication style “aggressive” or “confrontational,” you prefer to think of yourself as “assertive.” As an Eight, you exude passion, determination, and steadfastness.
Where You Shine in Parenting
As a mama, you’re passionate about your kids and have a strong desire to advocate for their needs. You instill in your children a sense of safety. Eights are a case study in “Mama Bear” behavior. You love to train up your kids and you parent consistently. You have so much natural energy, which matches perfectly with keeping up with your kids and tackling hard tasks. (Has an Eight ever met a task she couldn’t crush?!?!)
Where You Struggle in Parenting
Because your personality is so big, you may overshadow your children and bulldoze them into doing what you want. You have a low tolerance for whining or incompetence, which is a difficult place to be when you have toddlers. As an Eight, you struggle with extending grace to others and knowing when to back off (in both intensity and tackling your to-do list).
Healthy Habits
- Sweet Eight Mama, you love making things right and doing what you can. It’s important to remember that God controls the outcomes so you don’t have to fight, worry, and struggle about All The Things (2 Samuel 10:12).
- Ask yourself if you view your children as projects or gifts. If it’s the former, ask God for the grace to accept them where they are and to love them as they are.
- Ask God to show you — in the moment — when to extend grace and when to push ahead. He’ll show you!
Books for the Eight Mama
- It’s OK Not To Share by Heather Shumaker
- Nurture by Nature by Paul Tieger and Barbara Barron-Tieger